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Ultimate Confucious Sayings
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  • Man who stand on toilet get high on pot.
  • Naked man fears no pick pocket.
  • He who eats too many jelly beans, farts in living color.
  • It takes square ass to shit brick.
  • Wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
  • Man who screws near graveyard f***ing near dead.
  • Boy who plays with himself pulls boner.
  • He who lives in glass house dresses in the basement.
  • Woman who bakes beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
  • Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily a dentist.
  • War doesn't prove who's right. War determines who's left.
  • Baseball rules all wrong...Man with four balls cannot walk!
  • Men who put cream in tart, not always a baker.
  • Man who walk in middle of road get run over by bus.
  • He who let woman on top is fucking up.
  • People who make Confucious Joke speak bad English.
  • Man with hands in pocket feels cocky all day.
  • Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment gets no new key.
  • Woman who fly upside-down have nasty crack-up.
  • Woman who goes man's apartment for snack, gets tit-bit.
  • Man who lay woman on ground, gets piece on earth.
  • Man who gets kicked in testicels, left holding the bag.
  • Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
  • Woman who spend much time on bedspring, may have offspring.
  • Man who sucks nipples makes clean breast of things.
  • Man with holes on pocket feels cocky all day.
  • Man who snatch kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.
  • Man who fights wife all day long gets no piece at night.
  • He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
  • He who plays with self, pulls boner.
  • Boy who go to bed with sex problem, wake up with solution in hand.
  • Virgin is like balloon; one prick, all gone
  • Girl who douches with vinegar walks around with sour puss.
  • Girls should not marry basketball players . they dribble before they shoot.
  • Man with athletic finger, make broad jump.
  • Man who marry girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
  • Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.
  • Baby conceived in back seat of car with automatic transmission, grow up to be shiftless bastard.
  • Wife not part of furniture, until screwed on bed!
  • Sex on beach is like American beer - fuckin' near water!!!!
  • Man walking through swing doors is going to Bankok.
  • Crowded elevator always smells different to midget.
  • Man who cut fart in church have to sit in own pew.
  • Woman who slides down banister makes money shine.
  • Woman who springs on springs this spring gets off spring next spring.
  • Dumb man climb trees to get cherry, smart man spread limb.
  • Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
  • Girl who marries man named Richard, must kiss Dick.
  • Woman with blonde hair may have black hair by cracky.
  • Man put in shit-house by wife end up in cat-house.
  • Man who go to sleep with itchy butt, wake up with smelly fingers.
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