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| 20 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate |
| 1. |
Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "Do you have a square
to spare?" |
| 2. |
Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that." |
| 3. |
Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. |
| 4. |
Say, "Damn, this water's cold." |
| 5. |
Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!" |
| 6. |
Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before." |
| 7. |
Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl
from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly. |
| 8. |
Say, "Now how did that get there?" |
| 9. |
Say, "Hummus. Reminds me of hummus." |
| 10. |
Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of
your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!" |
| 11. |
Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers." |
| 12. |
Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the
wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,"Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?" |
| 13. |
Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me." |
| 14. |
Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and
let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and
blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast. |
| 15. |
Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot." |
| 16. |
Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?" |
| 17. |
Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks. |
| 18. |
Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous"
newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall. |
| 19. |
Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor
and say, "Peek-a-boo!" |
| 20. |
Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free". |
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